太阳本身不升也不降,也没有刻意照顾我们的心情。相反是地球转动,才有日出与夕阳的差别。
1月29日。又一个年末。忘了什么时候开始,诸如此类的节庆开始在心中变质,腐烂。望着他人的大惊小怪,和心中的末日降临形成强烈的对比。古老的传说随着时间推进而没落。从最初的意义到后来被扭曲的信念。想起了学院时的一堂课。老师让同学们都站成一排。然后从第一位同学开始对着身后的同学耳语一句话。就这样一个接一个,直到把耳语传到最后一位同学耳中。在传送当中,之间经过的那么多中间人,到最终结果,最后一位听见的讯息,已经不是当初第一位人说出的讯息了。
既然这是必然的,那又能怪在谁人身上。不能。所以依然如故。继续冷眼旁观,所谓的热闹。
糟糕顶透的那天。让自己放假逛书局去。看见可以试阅的1Q84 III,越来越多新书的林夕,等。逛了3间书局。而其实,想找出的也只有那一本《那些美好时光》。记得书中其中一篇里写着,据说,人脑内安放悲伤的区域远比快乐来得大。这也难怪快乐总是来得不易。只因为了应付那巨大的忧伤。虽然说,潜意识内会找来这本书。但,也只是把书本拿起来,翻开早前未读完的部分,继续读下去。充其量,我只是在心情空的像羽毛一般时,找些足以安抚的文字来阅读。让轻飘飘的心踏实下来。
后来,飞不起的羽毛有随着风飘向他方吗?没有,它来到一个过于空荡荡的空间,面对着不安无处可逃。某些话和有些话在玩着碰碰球。擦出了名为混乱的火花。该空间看起来没尽头,只有无限制的延伸。而你,只是被前进的时间麻醉。只想安静地坐在原地。等待结束。期间,开始怀念起小时候纯粹的快乐。当时不知天高地厚地日子多好。在随着经历和教训增加之前,不会忙着为看见的和感觉的每一件事加上标签。带着有色眼镜,半信半疑地完成着每一个目的。
仿佛,活在这世上,单纯就是一种罪恶。宁愿让蓄意的恶给重伤,也不愿和单纯带来的伤扯上关系。只因前者可以心安理得地憎恨着,后者却要花上大量的自我催眠来说服代价。究竟要花上多长时间,才能达到人人都开心的双赢状况。对于无论如何都不肯退一步的人来说,这样太难了。只有人人都不开心的双输情况才是最容易达到的。
罢了罢了。
就算没有风吹的日子,也该好好享受静下来的风景。认识不认识的,或重新认识经已认识过的。末日前的约定,请让这再次充满阳光的味道。
=)
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