那天,从电影院里走出来,你想起了岱芳老师。
在那绝无仅有的早上,你和她的对话。
她说你就像她当初出来教书时认识的第一批学生,那般岁数。那时候,她的纠结导致的哪一些出走。一次又一次,频密地,直到好些年以后。还有现在的这一个她。
哪一个天微亮的早晨,坐在早餐店内吃着烧饼喝着豆浆,你听着她说了好多好多。
她也陪你聊了好多,那些无处安放的焦虑。
后来,时间到了,你踏上巴士,结束那一趟出走。
直到如今,八个月就这样过去了。
你不知道为何时间走得那么快。
仿佛什么都来不及留下,转眼就离开了。
八个月了,焦虑依然安分地守在原地。
它似乎看透了你一般,知道时间到了你自己会回到哪一个位置。停滞不前。
可时间它并不仁慈。换句话说,时间它是个绝对公正的证据。
你不可能一直如此任性地挥霍着,你也不可能一直年轻着。
后来,你坐在巴士站内,任由阳光照耀着。想象着自己就是《梦之安魂曲》里的老太婆,无所事事地晒着阳光。并和隔壁同样无所事事的老太婆一起闲聊着,打量着每一个路过的人。
但,你是安静的。挂上耳机,看着时间溜过。
然后,半个小时过去了,你始终还是跳上了那一趟20分钟前曾经经过的巴士。
跟着巴士速度缓慢地前进,你继续思索着。
心中种下的太阳花,靠着那仅有的光源往上爬,足够吗?
还是它其实早已枯萎,而你只是幻想着可以把它救活的那一天。
质问的声音越来越小,你的头越来越低。
你知道答案的,你只是没有面对的勇气。
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对阿,是需要勇气的..
谢谢。。勇气和固执在努力战斗着。。
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